Things You Shouldn’t Do Before Going to the Haven Conference

I’m a conference veteran – conferences are very popular for sharing info in my profession so I go to many every year. You learn how to pack your clothes so they don’t crease, how to meet people when you don’t know anyone, etc. etc. etc.

That’s all nice and good. But there are some things that are very important to not do:

  • Don’t wear knit jersey pants (oversize because you like ’em drapey) with a waist that insists on riding up to your bra. TSA will pat and stroke your belly. TSA will pat and stroke your belly real good. Apparently the grandma pant effect alarms even the TSA scanner screener.
  • If you must wear these pants (I find mine in the Target pajama section, love them! soft and comfy) then wear a shirt out over them to hide the whole mess going on around your belly. Which may alarm TSA even more.
  • Don’t chip a tooth the night before leaving. You’ll wind up feeling the tooth obsessively with your tongue during every second you’re not talking or eating. And then your tongue will feel weirdly raw. And then you’ll start thinking about that. It’s very distracting when you’re supposed to listen to speakers and your fellow conference-goers.
  • In addition, the broken tooth may make you wonder, “will I be able to drink cold white wine? Or will I have to gulp room-temperature red wine and hide the grimace?” Because clearly not drinking wine is not an option.
  • If you must bedazzle your sandals to replace the rhinestones that fell off, be sure to allocate 30 minutes in your schedule to carefully wash the powerful bedazzling glue off your fingers without tearing skin. Because hands with ripped up skin could make people afraid to shake your hand at conferences.
  • Related advice: it may be best to not start this project at 1:30 a.m. when you must leave at 7:30 a.m. to catch a flight.

You can see my bedazzled feet but not the grandma pants. Sorry.

If you avoid doing the above three things when going to a conference, you will be fine.

For posts during and after the Haven conference, visit here.

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